Hypochondriacs

There is one in the office that likes to run around the building and almost like clockwork, commences the now daily update in the declining health experienced that day. Today's symptoms are similar to hives, but ramlbed off symptoms more like a case of low blood sugar. By the time the hypochondriac walked to the end of the hallway, the symptoms changed to a fever and head cold. Yesterday was exhaustion coupled with a stomach ache and low blood pressure.

Why must these people parade themselves around to everyone, panhandling sympathies and wasting peoples valued work time? These are the people we hate the most because they leave work every chance they get to go home and recover from their imagined Disease of the Day and come back in the afternoon acting as if nothing has ever happened. These are the people that we have to waste our time trying to pick up the slack from these people because their productivity is in shambles because they are more pre-occupied cross referencing their symptoms to what they think they have and not doing their work.

People like this need to be locked up in a room with others like them and exposed to a different colored mist on an hourly basis while adjusting the room temperature just to fuck with their heads and make them think they are lab rats for corporate America and the drug czars who want to keep people medicated and oblivious just so they have something else to do other than bother the rest of us hard working people who are trying to get to the end of our day with our sanity in one piece.

LEAVE US ALONE. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. WE COULDN'T CARE LESS. JUST GET SOMEONE TO FILL IN FOR YOUR HALLUCINATING ASS SO WE DON'T HAVE TO BEAR YOUR WORKLOAD THE REST OF THE DAY.