1300 Rodd Field Road: A 19-year-old man said his 19-year-old girlfriend attacked him after he refused to let her take his car. He said his girlfriend started yelling at him, scratched him on both shoulders and hit him on the head. The man said his girlfriend grabbed the phone when he tried to call police and threw it across the room, shattering it. Police arrested the woman.
WHOA! I wanna woman like that!2200 Baldwin Court: A 73-year-old woman said a man stole her toaster while she was in her bedroom getting dressed. The woman said the man came over to borrow $10. The woman said she wanted a constable to go with her to the man's house so she could retrieve her toaster and the $10.
What's with kids these days, stealing toasters from the enfeebled.600 South Port Avenue: A grocery store clerk told police a man in his 30s or 40s walked out of the store with two bags of Nabisco cookies, some Mexican candy and a frozen marble cake without paying for them. The clerk said he confronted the man, who told him, "I'll be back." The clerk said the man went into a bar down the street and never came out. Police found a back door to the bar that leads to another street.
Police believe the suspect is hyped-up on sugar and has uncontrollable shakes. All units shoot to kill...
600 Kaipo Drive: A 31-year-old man said he was at home watching television when he saw his 32-year-old wife walk outside and then heard a crash and his car alarm activate. He said when he ran outside he saw his wife drive away in her car and a window on his car broken. He said he didn't know why she damaged his car and estimated the damage at $80.
Its called P.M.S. you dipshit. That, or you weren't giving her her daily allowance of rough, sweaty sex...900 South Water Street: A 29-year-old man said that after returning from a Bad Religion concert with a 28-year-old man they got into an argument. He said the younger man punched him several times in the face. The younger man said the older man punched him several times and he punched back. Police reported the younger man had no visible injuries.
Of course he didn't have injuries. It was a Bad Religion concert, you pussies...3400 Ayers Street: A 41-year-old man told police that a 45-year-old man has been harassing him by phone and saying bad things about his business. He also said that while he was driving, the older man pulled alongside him and made faces at him.
The younger man would have returned the face, but was told by his elderly parents missing a toaster his face would stay like that...3300 South Alameda Street: A 45-year-old woman said her teddy bear print wallet was stolen while she was at a local hospital. She also reported missing her driver's license, Social Security cards for her and her three children, birth certificates for herself and five children and two credit cards.
Shit, H.M.O.s are really costing their coveragee's more than just high co-pays...
You people make me sick. I hope I dont go to that ladies hospital for treatment...
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