STRANGE FINDINGS FROM THE INTERNET XXXXVII

This is one of the few times I have put local news in a SFFTI update, but only cause I am slightly frightened by this. It was reported by El Paso's supposed news leader that cholera was found at our own Ascarate park. The article says fishermen who catch any fish are urged to thoroughly cook the fish they catch. Catch, let alone cook? Oh well, there goes my plan to make sushi...

You know, I don't know if the kids are going too far these days or if the school administrators are just pussies. Can't shut a kid's crying up? Send the kid to an adult jail cell in handcuffs where he can be heckled by the ADULT INMATES... Why couldn't that corporal punishment have been doled out to some of my elementary school bullies?

With friends like these, who needs a head?

I know when I am wrong about something I will admit it. I also know if I am right, I will fight. I just know I would do the same if I were in this guy's situation. If I knew my car couldn't push 90 downhill with a wind blowing behind me, I would prove it too to get out of an erroneous ticket.

Can't wait to watch quality movies before you get home? Apparently, this guy couldn't either. I wonder if it was a stiff penalty?

Finally, a-la Conan O'Brien, "What if" The Simpsons mated? This is ironic since Conan was a writer for the Simpsons...

Get back to work, headshot...

Nothing to be concerned about

Just doing some tweaks to the site.

IM ITCHY!!!

Im itchy, must resist the urge to scratch obsessively. No, its not crabs nor is it herpes (this time) but mosquito bites. Yeah, with West Nile virus a problem all over the country, I thought about it affecting me. My problem is I get bitten durring the hot mid-day hours when I do laundry & hang it outside. Well, the one thing I have the most annoyance with is how many times I have been bitten on my ankle! I count 7 mosquito bites within 6 inches from eachother- AND THATS ON ONE LEG!!!

Thinking about it, I can't wait for the summer to be over. No worries over West Nile, no mosquitoes, but no chances to drop the convertible top...

STRANGE FINDINGS FROM THE INTERNET - PICTURE OF THE WEEK

Can you see whats wrong with this picture?



Here's a hint: Its not inside...
To see the original photo, visit Pleasanton Realestate, East Bay area, Ca. This picture is the third photo submitted.

Did I choose to forget?

I don't think I did. Last night, I had a call from Yolie and Evelyn and we caught up on each others lives and as always laughed our asses off. The one thing I am surprised I chose to forget about one of the last nights Yolie and her husband Teddy were in town. It was late and we wanted food. Not many options were open, so we went to Pizza Hut for some food. We sat, we talked, we did naughty things to the condiments at the table.

There was just one thing that I guess I chose to block out of my memory. After sitting and talking about Yolie's habits and quirks, conversation went to the time she embarrassed me at Applebees. Her husband was laughing his ass off, and you could see in his eyes "What have I married" rolling over and over. Then, for reasons unknown, a silence came over us. We all went back to eating our food when I knew I was starting to get full. So I forced a burp out.

Loud.

From Yolie's description of that night, my eyes were half closed in a glazed over orgasmic light and the burp registered clearly through the restaurant, which was undergoing renovation which made it echo just right. There was literally a hush that befell the other diners seated around us as I turned to look at Teddy sitting on the opposite side of the table, his eyes wide and in disbelief. There was that half second where everything was calm and quiet. It was like time stood still right before the sense came back to me and I realized that the burp was much louder than I anticipated.

I remember saying "Oh my God" and covering up my mouth real quick, but I soon lost it when Yolie started laughing. My laughter was contagious, soon Teddy & Lupe were in hysterics. Through my laughter, all I could hear is Teddy saying "dude" and Yolie saying "that was loud" and "that's so unlike you" in the middle of their laughter. Afterwards, as we got into the car, Teddy had asked if that's how it was like when Yolie did it to us in the parking lot. I said yes, but only louder and deeper.

He said wow, got into the drivers seat and as he turned over the engine, I told Teddy he was a lucky man to have Yolie in his life, and how he has many of those moments to look forward to.

STRANGE FINDINGS FROM THE INTERNET XXXXVI
-non PETA friendly version

When you overbreed an animal, genetic makeup starts to resemble mascara running down a wet face. As a result, certain genetic defects occur. At what point do you stop? Apparently these people didn't. Anyone want a full breed retarded cat?

A few SFFTI back, I pondered the environmental impact between wind power and hydroelectricity. This guy is definitely thinking inside the hampster box. Now if they could only harness the tremor-power of a chihuahua...

Do you have an adorable little whelp who is just NUTS about bunnies? Does their obsessive activity border on psychotic episodes and cause needless sleepless nights thinking of the perfect gift rabbit? Look no more. Its the Bunny of the Month Club! Anyone from Transylvania? Adore Frankenstein? Hell, dress your other stuffed animals with a cute bunny suit! Go nuts imagining your own creations, like nuclear weapons victim bunny, or odd pagan skull bunny! The possibilities are endless!

Keeping with the rabbit theme, how about some classic films recreated by rabbits AT rabbit speed? At 30 Second Bunny Theater, enjoy such cinematic masterpieces as Titanic, Jaws, The Exorcist and Alien. Grab some popcorn or your favorite movie themed stuffed toy, like this adorable item from the movie Jaws, complete with no ARMS...

Marvel at the wonders of weather and tornadic activity with this interactive game. Why add it to my list of PETA disapproved sites? Simply put: Flying cows. Search their other games and interactive learning!

This guy has an addicting little flash game where you just annoy him until he... nah, I won't spoil it.

Finally, try your hand at fighting off a virus that stays one step ahead of you. I've been playing it for 2 hours and loose every time! I warn you, its addicting!

Now, don't blame me if you don't get your work done...

Yesterday sucked

Well, my mom was in a traffic accident yesterday at lunchtime. Theres an issue with the insurance companies and they'll be battled for a while. She's ok.

This morning finds me driving the Ranger, my mom doesnt want to (and I dont blame her in west El Paso traffic) drive it, so she is in the Mustang. I got the new mount for my XM radio and have it mounted, but now, along with the convertible top button, the cigarette lighter broke. Its the sun and the thin plastic moldings. The sun is making them brittle.

Maybe I should never say never

I did a few things this weekend I didn't think I would do. Among washing and finally cleaning off the Gatorade I spilled on the dashboard (yes dashboard) and polishing the windows, I actually replaced the broken panel off the Mustang with zip-ties. Its a temporary fix for it, but I couldn't go another day with it looking like shit. Another thing I did was I jerry-rigged the laptop. I strapped the connector down securely, so it should be good for a while. Its what Im using to publish this blog entry.

Today will be a productive day, I should be receiving a bolt-on bracket for my XM Radio today. The two-sided tape finally came off the other day and its [XM receiver] been sitting in the shifter area, out of sight. The new bracket will mount it high and visible. It will be an easy install.

I hope...

What is with people this morning?

Usually, going to work at 4:30am is a great time to do so. This morning, the idiots were on the road with a vengeance or something. I was met with an indifferent idiot who didn't know if she was going to get on the freeway or slow everyone down. Honking and flashing my horn seemed to make her slower and she stopped in the middle of the ENTRANCE RAMP to the freeway. Signs are also posted on the interstate that slower traffic stay right. Tell that to the Volkswagen bug doing 55 in the left lane. Its Friday people, get your day over with so you can enjoy your weekend off!!!

I dont like this month

Well, its getting close to the end of August. What does that mean? Winter is close. Id rather have warm weather and the top down on my car than to have the top buttoned up and layers of clothes. I enjoy dressing in shorts and sandals too much to have to give that up. Do I really want to become a permanent vacationer to the coastal bend area of Texas just to enjoy some warm weather in the winter? Maybe things arent as bad as I see them...

Police Blotters II

All of my usual sources of Strange Findings are tapped dry today, so I figured a little commentary on some Blotters is in order:

5500 Leopard Street: A police officer reported finding heavy smoke that smelled like marijuana and crack cocaine lingering in the air of a non-smoking room at a hotel. The bathtub was clogged with butts, and the toilet seat had been ripped off. The last people to use the room had checked out.
-If thats how the last people who checked into the room found it, who are they to clean it? Either way, thats one hell of a party!

3700 Castle River Drive: A 59-year-old woman said someone dumped out and cut off the tops of two of her plants and filled her water fountain with soap. She estimated the damage to her property at $145.
-Hey, they didn't salt the earth so nothing else would grow, so count your stars

1200 Sixth Street: A 41-year-old man said someone claiming to be from MasterCard called him. He said when he declined the offer of a card, the caller became abusive, obscene and challenged his sexual preferences.
-Soliciting phone calls, no charge; claiming youre gay, Priceless...

2900 North Shoreline Boulevard: A 26-year-old woman told police her purse and makeup, valued at $70, were stolen when her car was burglarized. She estimated damage to her vehicle at $250.
-Police believe the burglars are fashion motivated and are now looking for lip-gloss, I repeat: Lip-Gloss...

-Taken from The Corpus Christi Caller Times, found at www.caller.com

House Sitting

Gonna be house sitting for my friend Will later this week. It should be fun, hang out with his little mutt, watch DVDs all afternoon/evening. Hell, maybe even cruise around Las Cruces and get to know it a little bit. All I know is this: The apartment community has a gym and a pool. Guess where I will be most of the time...

Is there anyone watching?



I don't know of many people who are just enamored with the Olympics this year. I had overheard too many people say that this year's Olympic teams are rife with cocky, over-inflated egotistical athletes who are getting their brains beaten out of them in competition.

With dismal ticket sales in Athens and people really not all that interested in the summer games, why are there images of the olympic rings blazen on NASCAR racers and cheap, non-biodegradeable plastic cups? It couldn't be to get people interested, could it? Nah, its just a cheap ploy to show the denizens of the NASCAR sect and the soccer mom's that the places they patron are kow-towing to the all mighty dollar as they try to recoup their losses this year in Athens.

Somethings in the oven...

There is talk that there might be a new arrival to a new family. I will keep people posted.

So... It rained? When?

Last night, El Paso had one of the worst rain storms in a while. Lightning, thunder, winds, torrential rain... I didn't hear ONE BIT of it. Im kinda glad I didn't leave the top down last night.

STRANGE FINDINGS FROM THE INTERNET XXXXV

It's back to school time across the country, and locally. You might have already seen advertisements flooding the air waves about all the back to school sales and special promotions, which has become somewhat of a quasi-holiday-reason to spend more money than you should. That, coupled with this guy has me reliving my high school days and HATING math and all associated word problems with a passion. I liked my puzzles a little on the dumber shade of difficult.

Now if that didn't get to you enough, there is a new study out saying coffee is linked to... Um... What is that word.... Hold on, it'll come to me...

Maybe this is the reason the jocks from my old school always drank, they figured they'd get better grades... Where's my flask...

The question has always been "Would a rose, under any different name still smell as sweet?" and for the longest time, the same could be said about women's faces. Could a person's name dictate how the brain associates beauty? Well, simple test: Imagine in your mind a woman by the name of Sarah. Now imagine a woman with the name of Hortence. Ok, lets throw a monkey wrench into the equation. What if they were bald?

Some guys are born lucky. Some are born rich. Some... Well... What do you bill this guy to be? Horny? Stupid? Unlucky? Dumbass?

GET BACK TO WORK, SLACKERS!

Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
searching for my lost shaker of salt...

Don't you hate when a song gets embedded into your brain and you can't shake it? I was sitting in my cubicle here at the station reading up on my new cell phone when I came across kinda stupid warnings in the instruction manual...

• Don't charge the battery in direct sunlight or high humidity environments, especially bathrooms
• Speak directly into the mouthpiece
• Do not touch the antenna on the phone unnecessarily when the phone is switched on. Contact with the antenna may cause the phone to operate at a higher power level than otherwise needed.

Who the fuck charges their cell phone in the bathroom? Another thing, what the hell is it with people speaking into the earpiece and not the mouthpiece? Are you that fucking stupid you can't distinguish up from down? If the concept of up and down blows your mind, cell phone ownership is not for you; Non-toxic paint, a bib and your blankie will suit you more.

The scary thing is if you think those warnings are bad, go to the glove box in your car and pull out the owners manual and read some of the "Basic Instructions and Precautions" and see how daft some people are. There is essentially a drivers ed course book in it to remind people what to do at stop signs...

Oh, and one last thing, I got that stupid Margaritaville song in your head, didn't I?

New phone, new plan - revised -

Well, I didn't end up with Cingular, too many conflicting reports of when service would reach El Paso swayed me away for now. Doesn't mean I don't want the service, I just have to wait the two years for my new provider's contract to run out. Sprint has been good for me so far.

I have also found some interesting features on my phone that are completely worth me going to a new service, including voice dial.

We're riding on the RV of fun, or something...

Mondays. Is there anything more dismal than the thought of Monday morning and the sight of all your lovely co-commuters on their way to work? You know, going to work in the wee morning hours is the best time to go to work. You don't have idiot people slowing down to under the speed limit & people trying to overtake you in a space smaller than the space a motorcycle would use. There are some down sides to traveling to work early in the morning...


click image for story

Early this morning a presumed drunk driver entered the I-10 westbound lanes going the wrong way and collided with a RV traveling thru El Paso in the early morning hours. Here in El Paso, wrong way drivers are a huge issue with our roadways, and a few months back , we almost had one each weekend for three weeks (two nearly days apart from each other). This morning's accident was one of the worst ones as of yet, but with a slightly better outcome. The passengers inside the RV escaped without serious injury, however the driver of the car did not survive.

Fear the roads

The state of Texas is participating in what penny pinchers would consider a red-letter day as all retail merchants will participate in Tax Free Weekend. Anything that remotely has anything to do with back to school is granted this tax amnesty. Yes, this is a good thing to do to boost the economy, the huge downside is the freeways around the malls and other major shopping centers are going to be FLOODED with people trying to get a piece of this annual sale.

Caveat emptor, voyeurs...

Am I supposed to update?

Hmm, I guess not. I dont have anything to offer for an update for today. Nothing has happened yet.

The death of a beloved friend

Its my sad, sad duty to inform everyone my laptop is dead. After fighting for months to repair a video connection problem on the motherboard, the computer decided to bite the big one. Yes, I am deeply heartbroken, it was truly a window to the world as I sat in my cubicle at work and watched the world as it happened.

It will be parted out. I am keeping the hard drive, mainly cause I have all my files still in it. I know someone who wants to buy it, I just have to contact him and see if he still wants it in its condition.

For now, I am laptopless. Wait, that sounded dirty...

I watch too much TV

I do. When I notice things that strike me as strange, and no one else picks up on them, I know I watch too much TV. Take this morning for example, I was watching one of those active lifestyle commercials of people who suffer from the ailments of everyday life, get up and show themselves to be active and alive.

You know, more power to them. I am just reminded of what my dad says all the time when he sees commercials like that. All these commercials are using music and objects to rekindle memories of youth and vigor. Depends (diaper underpants for adults) shows two women taking a road trip in a classic 60's Mustang convertible. Enbrel (an arthritic medication commercial) shows a couple running down to the beach after parking their 1970's GREMLIN.

All these products target the older generation who's health is starting to sulk downwards. I remember watching a sleeping aid commercial of Cass Elliot's Dream a Little Dream of Me playing in the background. I guess all this watch of TV is making me think of when I get to be in my late 40s. Will Sominex (sleeping aid) use Metallica's Enter Sandman? Maybe use Cult's She Sells Sanctuary to sell RVs or motorhomes.

I fear the future, people. Its going to be filled with a return of sell-out artists lending their songs to products, vacuuming robots and robots mangling man meat.

Typical me

It really is typical me. Whenever I buy something major, be it a car, appliance, computer software, I always doubt myself and the purchase. So what did I do yesterday? Yup, I returned the iPod. But I got myself something much, much better and I will get better use out of.

This weekend is going to be a tax free weekend for clothes and all back to school supplies. I remember last year's fiasco, people just mobbing the malls, being rude and unruly, the carrying of the bounty back to the car... I can just avoid the malls for days before and after.

IM tired, I need a nap and my blankie.

A very productive weekend indeed

Ok, lets back track for a minute. Last year, before I bought the Mustang, I had made a list of items that I would love to get as a Christmas gift. One of the items (other than the Mustang and the XM Radio and the K&N Air Filter kit etc) was the iPod.


click image for Apple website

Well, as luck often dictates itself around me, things fell into place nicely. A week ago, Yolie, her husband Teddy, her cousin and myself were in circuit City browsing for some blank CD's to burn wedding pictures when I saw the clearance isle in the front of the store. There, among the returned items was a 10 gigabyte iPod.

Apple no longer makes 10 gig iPods so this one was a rare find. This one was out of the box, but it was complete. I joked with Yolie and Teddy that this would have been a nice little "thank you" gift from them and we all laughed it off and they bought the blank CD's and we all left. I figured in my mind that would have been the last I saw the iPod until I got a wild hair up my ass and went back into circuit City this weekend.

I had no intentions on buying the iPod, after all, I figured someone else would have bought it long before the weekend was up. Just for shits and giggles, I did look at the clearance isle just to satisfy my mind. There, along side a 30 gig iPod was the 10 gig iPod sitting right where I remembered it to be. I left it alone for a moment while I looked around the store at some new monitors, but something inside me kept calling me back.

So, after pontificating the possibilities and running the logic of buying something so gaudy and unipurpose, I fell into the moment and bought it. It took me 10 minutes to get the hang of the controls and the menus, but right now as I am typing in this entry, I am jamming out to half of my Fleetwood Mac collection. I haven't even put a dent in the iPods capacity for holding songs, and I haven't even started to download songs.

PS, I got the iPod at a clearance price of $239, the 30 gig iPod was on clearance for $349. It pays to look for a bargain.