Hurricanes & Reporters

Now, before you get all pissy and in my face I just want to say that when you read this, remember that I used to work in a news room as an assignments editor for the NBC affiliate in El Paso.

What the fuck is it with every news agency sending out their reporters to stand in the middle of a deadly-as-sin hurricane attempting to stand in (DUH) 100mph winds and rain that (when hitting a stationary object) feels like sharp needles piercing the skin with ever strike on the body?

I mean really people. Are we as a collective audience so fucking vapid that we don't have a fathomable idea what a penny flying at 100+ mph does to a plate glass window? Do we not know what a building roof does when it encounters a strong wind? I am watching FOX Newschannel and I am seeing some poor bastard standing outside their hotel, microphone in hand, windbreaker jacket being torn to rags and the rather heavy mic cord literally blown off the ground and is not helping this poor TV underling stand up to this wicked weather.

The cameraman isn't that far from danger either. Wielding a 50+ lb. camera, gear, and listening (in vain) to cues from a director -- usually hundreds of miles away from danger mind you, this poor guy has a blind spot where the camera rests on his shoulder. That 100mph flying penny striking the side of his skull will certainly cause him to wonder if he is paid enough to go through that shit. Which brings me to my point of rant.

Is this entertainment to us? It's news, not fucking entertainment! It could only be considered entertainment if the reporter on scene is some buxom bombshell wearing only a white t-shirt watching the fabric on her shirt become soaked and watching her head vibrate as the air that passes between her empty skull hits a terminal velocity and slowly makes her implants shake loose and fall to around her ankles.

You see, theres a difference between news and entertainment. News is reporting that the hurricane is hitting the city. Entertainment is watching the poor bastard try and stand up in the rain.

Just once, I would love to watch a noted TV anchor, reporter or TV personality who is stupid enough to listen to their director to stand out in one of these Cat. 3 - 5 hurricanes and -- live on TV, get some sort of flying debris to strike them DEAD on live TV.

You heard me.

I want a nice chunk of street sign, some tree, or in a nice irony, a piece of tech equipment to just whip around and bean them good. If they're out by the ocean, maybe have a shot of the cameraman trying to pull the carcass of the recently deceased away from the encroaching tide.

Yes, I worked as an assignments editor. Yes I have had to send the reporter and cameraman out to fucked up locations for (at times) pointless video. I objected to it, but because it was what the director wanted, I complied.

As a viewer of television, I can tell you that I don't want to see a reporter (Geraldo OR Anderson Cooper) out in a hurricane reporting on the obvious.

Hmm, lets see. Hurricane = strong wind.

Ooooh, look! It's the eye of the hurricane! Lets go run outside, establish a link to someone who is being paid more to be safe and secure in a non-weather hit location and report on the devastation so far. Maybe we can get a look at the eye wall as it suddenly slams into the rest of whatever might have survived the initial onslaught and possibly dodge the bullet and run back inside the small alcove that served as a slight sanctuary from the first time.

Don't get me started on the spectators who stand out in the hurricane as well.

All it takes is the death of a beloved TV reporter to make sure all of the other TV producers keep from sending out their newsies. Maybe Sheppard Smith or Matt Lauer. Yeah, a brain-spattered beachfront condo would make one hell of a front page.

... Come on road sign...