I digress. While searching thro all of the vintage stock photos, I found some rather hilarious images that seem out of their original intent given today's attitudes.
Here we see a young Hannibal Lecter as a child. While it isn't his choice of bean, we can see he had that twinkle in his eye that the neighborhood stray would be first on his list of -- experiments.
Here's Hannibal's sister, Harriet. Looks like she got hold of the neighborhood stray and created spreadable puppy brains innocently disguised as a fruity jam.
The horror!
Sadly, no one ever understood why Little Debbie brand snack cakes never changed their trademark girl on the box. Here we see little Debbie, blinded by the sugar intake in the first batch of cakes cooked up by plant managers. Here, along with family for Christmas dressed in the outfit that launched a thousand delivery trucks, she stares vacantly thro the plate of food being passed to her elderly granmama smiling with the hope of one day being able to see again, but for now, enjoying the sounds from the table and family members clanging their dinnerwear and trying to make a show for her remaining senses, all the while fighting back the tears and angst of what happened to her so many nights ago...
Is that a pair of honey-brasied duck lungs slathered on the plate?
Wow, I can really get into these. Lets move on.
Meet Bob. Ever since his first acting role, he has had the stride and confidence that comes along with a healthy diet and exercise and the first time he was used as a test subject for Enzyte. This ad was photographed days after the initial dose took effect and its clear that there's something else long green and poking out of the water he's showing to his friends. Isn't it funny that even the name of the outboard motor is called Johnson?
It was funny. I sat here and stared at these swim trunks and thought to myself:
- The guys have no basket.
- None of these people (now) can run
- None of these people remember this
- They're still wearing these, only they're diapers in festive colors
No, I don't want to comment on why I was looking at their baskets.
Moving on...
Patsy Cline was in a horrible traffic accident. Doctors at the time were able to reconstruct her cranium by utilizing fragments of Dr. Frankenstein's monster's skull. Though, it looks more like they used hull armor from the U.S.S. Lexington...
"DICYCLOPENTADIENE!!!!"
This I think goes along with the other swim wear/ adult diapers from a few photos above, it looks like one of the happy-go-lucky men found this lil' lady and is either dragging her out of the pool due to too many chemical cocktails, or its the artists rendition of a joyous kidnapping.
Given it's probably the 1960's, this has got to be the most funnest toy I have ever seen come out of this decade. Dear God, look at the knobs, levers and buttons this 60 lb. hunk of metal has to play with! You know some dickhead gouged his eye out and had his parents get this toy banned forever, along with lawn darts. IF YOU'RE THE BASTARD, YOU DESERVE TO BE EYELESS! This looked like a fucking kick-ass toy that you could easily have up-staged that snotty neighbor kid who always gets the cool toys before you did. I would have just aimed right for the fucker's eye and...
Whoa! I think that parents used to buy this toy for the kids so some kinky wife swapping, toy utilizing parents would use this little gem on the others wife or husband if they were daring...
No comments:
Post a Comment