Actual Blotters from the police department in Corpus Christi Texas.
2 assaults in 10 minutes
In the first assault, a 35-year-old man said at 10 p.m. a patron inside the club in the 6400 block of South Padre Island Drive had a beef with him and swung his knife in his direction, causing a slight cut to his chest, police said.
About 10 minutes later, a dancer was arrested after she and a female customer got into a fight. Police said both women had "cuts on their heads from glass bottles or ashtrays, whichever was their weapon of choice."
*see, thats how you can tell a quality establlishment is the number of SCARS on the dancers...
With friends like these...
Two men were stabbed after an argument started at a bonfire near Beach Market 206 on Tuesday. Police said two groups met at a bonfire and a fight followed after a man refused to give someone a cigarette. A 20-year-old man was stabbed twice in the back while the other 20-year-old man was stabbed in the buttocks, ankle and wrist.
The injuries were reported as non life-threatening.
*Police believe the attackers were gay, since they kept trying to "stab" in the buttocks again and again...
Fugitive porker eludes police during pursuit
Police reported chasing a javelina on foot and by car early Friday but lost the wandering porker near the Harbor Bridge shortly before several neighborhood dogs picked up the pursuit. Police said "there was no word on the outcome."
*So, the real headline would read "Pigs chase pig..."
Wreck'd 'em, damn near killed 'em
A 27-year-old man said he left a nightclub and could not find his car just after 3 a.m. Thursday. The only thing he remembered was waking up at 3:10 a.m. in the 5600 block of Saratoga Boulevard wet up to his waist. He said his wallet was missing and he had a bump on his forehead, so he must have been robbed and had his vehicle stolen.
Several hours later, police reported finding a pickup in a ditch near Oso Creek that matched the description of the man's vehicle. It was taken to the city impound lot.
*Martini - $4.99, Rohypnol - $23.99 online, date-robbing your blind date = Priceless
Man, those parked police cars jump out at you from nowhere...
A 40-year-old woman suffered a broken arm and an elderly couple suffered minor injuries Wednesday after a collision with a stationary police car on Interstate 37. At about 10 p.m., a police officer reported seeing a woman driving a vehicle west in the eastbound lanes of the interstate. He said he pulled the woman over to get her facing the right direction when his patrol car, which had emergency lights on, was hit from behind by a 70-year-old man. The officer reported the 40-year-old woman may face DWI charges and the elderly man would receive a citation.
*Im not even touching this one...
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